kucing_malassss

hahaha...finally april is over!!!

2008-05-01T09:21:00.002+08:00

sounds a little ironic that april is my favourite month of the year...
i would hav loved to get all the pressies and stuff from my frens but this year it was totally different...
my birth month is full jam packed with academic stuff...damn..
from early of the month, i was kept bz with field trip, presentations, tests, interviews, meetings and of course my FYP!!!

it would have been ok if i didnt have to enter EDX but there u go again...my oh-so-great sv had to include his favourite nur in for the highlight of the month...it would have been helpful if ia had gotten a heads up earlier on and also had a complete project to present but shit happens...i was left with a week to complete work that would usually take me 3 weeks to do...(exaggerating??..maybe..maybe not..)

i must admit there was a 'hikmah' behind it...it was hard seeing other ppl doing their fyp at a stress free mode at the time but i can say, after all thats been done..im glad i did it then and not rite now..becoz i completed my fyp early, i could do my projects, presentations and other activities with a little less stress...
thats y i dont have much worries about the early oral presentation that was set for me...i had things under control by the end of the month and i was feelin' GOOD!!

true that i missed out on my birthday but i guess i could celebrate it next year (god willing)...missed out on family time to the extent that my family has to come and visit me..LOL (fyi, there coming today!! \0/)

but overall, i am glad that things went as it did...

my gratitude is in order...frens hav been supporting me and has been patient with me since long before...
thx peng...u hav been there for me for as long as i can remember...

pcs group..it was fun being with all of u...

exams are starting on 12 may...finish on 27th....1 more month to go in utp...then bye2..
very sad coz i know there will be times im gonna miss this student life....

im closing this book and opening another on the path of working life..wish me luck on that..

im taking this opportunity to say good luck to all for the coming exams...and also for their future lives...

until next time...
sayonara

apakah?

2008-03-15T18:54:00.001+08:00

da cool down..im thinking rationally...

betul kata peng...daripada nk kecohkan keadaan better juz shut up and let things settle themselves..

im tired of this..mcm budak kecik pun ada..who says that adults cant be children huh??

ive said what ive wanted to say...hopefully so has he...

y pursue further??

xde conclusion..let it be...

kalo dendam..then wat can i say??

but y after saying dier xnk kaco aku da and xmo cari aku lg, dier still looking up my blog?? y even bother bg comment???

dunno la...

maybe he cant keep away??....not my fault bro...

mebe he still ada dendam??...cant do a thing about it

mebe dier still syg???....god i hope not...after all thats said and done...theres no taking it back and pretending this has nvr happened...

he was the one who wanted to cut all ties....(juz do it already and be done with it!!!)

thx peng for all the support u have given me...even though at the time it doesnt seem like i appreciate it..

now i can move on...

wtf is going on??

2008-03-15T02:55:00.002+08:00

bengang yg x terhingga when i got this msg masa g ipoh dgn peng...wtf...kene tuduh getting between frens and trying to ruin their frenship..

apa kes??

xde gunenyer aku nk buat korg enemies pun...xde faedah...

ko sendrik yg ckp x berlapik sampai org len leh slhfhm...

aku xde influence pun kt org len...org len pun ada otak...bleh pk...bleh nilai apa yg betul..apa yg salah...apa yg kurang ajar...apa yg sopan...

kalo org yg kenal ko leh bengang dgn ayat ko..manakan org yg xkenal ko...

kalo dier nk tego ko...itu pendpt der sendrik...aku pun xtau apa yg dier tulis kat ko sampai ko pk aku nih dalangnyer...

the person in question told me to stay cool and ignore all this..tp ko da melampau...da la ko yg jatuhkan maruah aku with the sugar comment...skrg ko jugak yg ckp aku yg jahat...

comment awal2 ptg nih ingt nk just let it go but for this ko mmg xkan terlepas...apa yg berlaku pasnih mmg pdn muka ko...

aku pun xtau apa aku da buat kt ko sampai ko pk mcm2 kt aku....sbb aku rejek ko?? sbb aku pilih dier dr ko?? sbb ego ko ke??

'yer mmg aku kurang ajar..got problem with that?'<---yes..i hav a problem with it...

'one week of horrible mistakes??'<-----u brought it on urself...

apa ko ingt aku nih nk sgt kt ko???

ko yg lebeyh2...ko yg terhegeh2...

slama nih aku xde pun benci ko...skit pun tidak...

rupanya mmg patut aku berhati2 dgn ko sejak dr mula...

mmg patut aku stay away dr ko...

fyi, aku pun xmo dier gaduh dgn ko....lg2 pasal aku...

tp apa aku leh buat....ko yg timbulkan pergaduhan nih and blaming it all on me...

honestly..he has more class than to fall for ur bait...

and i respect him more for it...

aku pun xtau nape ko nk sgt rapat dgn aku...

xtau nape ko leh suka kt aku..

aku x mintak pun...

aku x regret kenal dgn ko...aku x regret frenship kite..

aku cumer regret yg ko leh slhsangka kt aku..bajet la lelaki gentlemen...

jgn nk slhkan aku sbb benda2 yg mmg luar kawalan aku...

dulu ko kata ko percaya yg aku org yg bek...skrg nih ko kata lain plak...

sumer nih ayat ko semata2 je ke??

mmg patut ke aku x percaya ko sblm nih??

is it ko jdkan si dier alasan supaya ko leh pekenakan aku balik...??

apa pun sukati la...

aku percaya..org yg kenal aku...org mcm dier...akn see thru all the lies...

life is full of surprises

2008-03-13T21:37:00.002+08:00

there are so many things that happen in life that u think u are ready for..things that u think u can handle...ppl that u think u know...

and in the exact moment u think u have it all figured out, life just tosses u insides a huge mixer and jumbles everything around until u can neither make heads nor tails of the mess.

thats whats been happening to me...

with all the things that have been going on...the things that i know...

its no big surprise that i have become such a realistic, pessimistic and cynical person..

this feeling makes me feel as if i cant trust anybody and cant relax my guard around anybody...

its tiresome...its heartbreaking...

its so lonely

ive been like this for so long...i dont recognize the old me anymore...i wish there was a big reset button that can change everything back to default mode like the ones they have in handphones so that i can start over again when things get so messed up.

i wish...

yes...life is full of surprises...but no one said they have to be good ones...

they can be darn downright nasty little surprises that sneak up on u and catch u unawares...

or they can be sweet surprises that make u forget for a little while that this world is so hard and cruel...

i truly respect the ppl who can still smile and move on after being hit with the worst that u can imagine.

for me...

i feel like ive had enuf...feel like there is no chance of happiness...no chance of peace....ive run out of luck...ive run out of steam....

im just so exhausted...

so so tired of everything.

time to lay low for a while...mind my own business and look inside myself...

hope i can get out of this mood soon coz i truly hate being like this.

walking away

2008-03-09T19:16:00.003+08:00

the week after the trip to cameron has been sumwhat challenging, tiring and also full of strain.

after returning, i immediately went into study mode and asgnt mode.

it was exhausting but necessary as i had a few tests and quizzes that were scheduled for the week.

since this was the 7th week already, i was getting kinda worried about the progress of my fyp and other projects. it kept me awake for the better part of the nites.

i dont know how but i hav been increasingly close with a frend of mine since the gath.

we go out together a couple of times and then before i knew it...things began to escalate in a most alarming and uncomfortable manner. he was telling his frens about our so called relationship and acting a little too familiar with me...i cant really blame him but it was making me feel very uncomfortable. after several attempts of trying to tell him to slow down the pace, i gave up and finally exploded. we chatted about this for some time before he finally realized that wat he and i both wanted were two very different things. he had wrongly judged my actions...

thru out all this, i came to realize that i had come to miss my ex. but knowing that me and him will not have much of a future, i am putting my feelings aside.

i have reached a conclusion that i shud juz focus on the most important things in life such as my fyp, projects, interviews and friends rather than the matters of the heart.

this past weeks have made me feel more appreciative of simple and pure frenship and more wary of emotional commitment.

i miss the times when i could juz hang out with frens regardless of gender without worrying about any possible misunderstandings that might occur.

another things that i have learnt and has caused me great distress is the knowledge that there are ppl who believe i am not a good person due to the former association with an entity (refer to last posting).

there has been times when ppl treat me in a most degrading fashion because they think i am a bad gurl. it makes me so sad to hear about it but thankfully, i hav stopped associating myself with this entity. hopefully ppl will see me as i really am and not based on rumours or ppl i associate with.

i dont have to worry about my close frens because they truly know how i really am. they have refused to believe in gossip that has been maliciously spread.

as ppl always say...once burned twice shy. i wont wait around for the entity to do me over a second time.

everyone knows how she is and now becoz of all that she has done, she is paying the price.

no more sympathies from me.

i will save that for my friends who are truly my frens.

cameron ooo cameron

2008-03-05T10:18:00.005+08:00

Last weekend was the best weekend ever...

G cameron beb. Asalnyer xmo g tp tetibe pg2 buta (xde la buta sgt ..kul 10 pun) feno mengecall and suh siap2...

aku yg blur nih pun bgn and trus g mandi tanpa memikirkan sebab musabab....feno nih mmg ada kuasa mengejut org dr bgn tido kot..:P

da la aku x cukup tido..smlm nyer g karok dgn feno, kazen feno and li...:D

x puas karok plak tuh...

adeyh...

neway, back to da story...tgh2 shower br sedar yg aku x packing pape pun..bayar duit pun tidak...even da ckp kt mal yg aku x jd nk g...nmpk gayanyer aku akn kantoi di situ laa..haha

pas packing skit...trus trun cafe jumpe feno..meera and tonton (1st time jumpe dier).

neway, kami g main hall dan jumpe all the geng..lama gaks la x jumpe...last time was kt ghazliatul aishah last sem...

yg x bestnyer ada plak entiti yg x disukai ramai di situ...

nk buat caner..buat tatau je la...

even me and iqbal leh get along but dgn entiti itu xleh blah..

neway..sambung citer..

bertolak la kami....meera drive...me and tonton duk blkg sambil amik gamba...:P

thanx to rumet ku yg tersyg yg sudi meminjam camera 7.2Mp dier..:D

benti jap kt simpang pulai and jumpe husna and halim...pasangan yg sgt hot skrg nih...suweeett giler derang...da la nek moto sesama..jeles2

haha..

nek la kami ke cameron...benti sana sini amik gambar...best giler...da la kenal2 dgn dak2 yg tidak dikenali sblm ini dan berposing2 dgn pelbagai posisi sepanjang perjalanan..:P

meera and feno makin rapat..menimbulkan keraguan tentang status mereka...but lets leave that for another day la kot.

next stop kt blue valley...joking around dgn geng2...best giler...last time g sana dgn iqbal..skrg nih g single2 je..:P

bonzer siap bg bunga yg dier petik kt tepi jln kt aku..dem...

i guess its the thought that counts..haha..thx bonzer..muah2!!

sambung perjlnan sampai brinchang..benti for lunch..duk ramai2 kt meja panjang sambil menikmati hidangan tghari dgn suasana sejuk2 manja tuh..(ayat xleh blah..)

next stop kt guest house twin pines..not what i expected (coz xtau nk expect ape pun act..:P)

dpt plak rumet dgn entiti yg tlh disebutkn sblm nih...haih...tidak ku duga~~~

down jap but still maintain..

ptg tuh kitorg bebas buat activiti masing2...so me feno tonton g jln2..jumpe gerai yg menjual pancake strawberi and cheesecake yg menguji keimanan...pau separuh feno pnya..wahaha..

then br dak2 len dtg...by that time da sold out...adeyh..kang x mkn jd termimpi2...sok gak kene dtg mkn lg!!

lupa plak pasal ada pasar mlm kt brinchang..kami pun beredar la...me husna halim nazli and meera nek satu keta....jeles giler tgk tonton nek moto mior.dem~

jln2 around pasar mlm tuh sambil beli benda yg dikirim oleh osmet2 ku....best gak tgk mcm2 benda...tp xleh duk lama sbb ujan and da makin sejuk...

balik2..mandi dgn air panas..waaaaa..leganyer~....

kuar2 tgk api bbq in the process...lepak2 dgn dak2 nih...sambil2 tuh tgk tonton men gitarnyer...syg xde cord byk sgt..kalo xleh nyanyi2 sambil tgu bbq siap...(bajet nk karok la)

time bbq tuh la jumpe nabil, abg rizal and kazen nabil...diorg nih mcm ok jek so lepak2 skali...

siap pas mkn men gitar..round2 cameron sampai awal pg and g mapley minum teh tarik...

balik2 me feno meera and li duk satu meja citer pasal antu...haha..budusnyer!!

last2 kazen nabil, danial and wary join skali..meriah la plak..

sumer tido dkt2 kul 5 la gak...meera la cuak2 tgk husna tutup muka masa tido..aparraaa!!

sok pg bgn awal gak g cari strawberry pancake...haih...heaven beb...x rugi bgn awal.

then kitorg balik nk checkout...posing amik gambar sepam and then g ladang teh utk buat muvi hindustan..hahaha...

before balik benti kt market beli strawberi and bunga2an....best giler...

aku ape lg..tido la sepanjang perjlnan...tido kt feno..(best woo!!)

bile feno drive plak aku sambung tido lg...saling menyandar kt tonton plak..sian dier!!

da lama x juz hav fun camtuh...walopun

terpaksa korban std time tp rs berbaloi....seb bek x g career fair ktg penang. nt jeles plak dgr2 citer dr geng2 yg g...

rsnyer kene buat lg activiti mcm nih...kang da kuar utp nyesal plak...

im gonna miss this soo much!!

last weekend

2008-02-27T01:44:00.005+08:00

First outing dgn adik2 housemate. sgt best...asalnya juz ajak g mkn mcd tgh2 mlm.

a few of us and Feno pun ada. (bajet cam bodygad la..haha)

rumet pun join skali...

since mcd was 24 hours kitorg x rush sgt...sampai sana pun dlm kul 11 lebeyh..sumer org lapa giler trus serbu counter..

pas da abes mkn br la stat men2..amik gambar sana sini..masing2 nk buat kenangan..da la x slalu kitorg kuar skali mlm2..

pas mkn..pakat round2 ipoh..ngah round2 tetibe senyap..rupenyer sumer kat backseat tu da tetido!!!!

xpe la kalo gitu. we all set back to utp. time tuh da kul 230. me and feno bukak radio kuat2 and then karok...lama gak x wat bende giler camtuh...

sampai utp osmet da bgn and then we all amik gambar around utp..

pakgad pun pelik tgk kitorg...da la tgh2 mlm...kitorg wat bising depan main hall.

we took pictures sampai sumer org punyer camera da abes bateri...seb bek bateri abes..kalo x mmg sampai pagi leh thn lg..

next day, ingt nk g fun fair yg kt dpn jj tuh...

last2 shopping kat jj sampai jj nk tutup. fun fair tuh x sampai2.

g mkn kt MBI terrace and lepak sana dgn a few frens dr uitm. pas mkn kitorg g karok...ex rumet dgn bf dier pun join gak...

kul 4 br reti nk balik...

adeyh..giler arr wiken nih...taubat x buat da kot~

its about time

2008-02-20T23:06:00.002+08:00

its been ages since my last blog...

i can only say ive been preoccupied about a few things that are going on in my life...

some good news:

my brother and his wife are expecting their first child!!

i was so excited that i started shouting and screaming at the kedai mkn like a crazy lunatic when i was told!!

(technically, lunatics are already crazy..wahaha!!!)

had some great family time during the chinese new year hols...

something that is priceless as there are less times for the fam to get together.

aquaculture biz is growing slowly and steadily...cant wait to see the little fishies swimming around the pool.

i bought a new printer last month...i had to admit that my last printer is old and so i retired it...
it is now in printer heaven i suppose...

been a little bz with the resumes and interview workshops....

ask my intern sv to help me make my resume..

i was expecting some small minor adjustments but when i got her comments, i felt like i had to redo the entire cv...:(

seeing as i had no time to edit as she commented, i had to make do and print 30 copies for jpsp.

i was supposed to pass them up on friday together with my progress report but in the end, i sent it on the following monday.

me and joe stopped contacting each other....

its typical of us i guess to be drifting off like that....

a part of me nvr really believed him..

didnt really feel sad coz it was sumthing i expected from him.

my roomate, housemates and my other frens hav been very supportive and the good relationship that we have has helped me a lot in moving on in my life.

i try hard to hide my sadness and insecurities from everyone and most of the time, i am very thankful that i was blessed with a cool roomate to talk with.

she's the best!!!

lula had been a constant teman for some time...

we shared some good times and laughs...had so many similarities

but things didnt really progress.

at least not on his side im assuming...

i stopped contacting him in the past weekend...he didnt seem to mind so i guess its ok for him...

i do still miss having him around but seems like i have to move on...

its hard but hopefully i can get thru it..

disappointments in life are inevitable.

classes are ok....studies are a lot tougher than last semester...

the fyp model is getting along even though at a snail's pace.

i went to buy some raw materials and then totally forgot to ask for the receipt....silly me!!

i went some other times but the shop has been closed each time...

hmm...very odd...

i had to go to another hardware store and this time...got a receipt for rm140...waaaaaaaaa!!!!

there goes my $$$!!!

i havent gone into the workshop to do the actual cutting of materials but i have managed to do some wood cutting in the hostel so i can say there has been some progress..:P

completely and utterly

2008-01-31T20:43:00.000+08:00

its a thursday nite that is full of promise but strangely enuf i feel totally lonesome even though im surrounded by people.

its hard to find somebody that u can really relate to and connect easily with.

when i do find someone like that, it seems that the whole world is out to ruin those happy feelings i have.

thats whats been happening lately...i get so sad when i think about it.

whenever i hav sumthing to share with sumone, i always find myself dialing a forbidden number but nvr really managing to press the call button.

if that person is reading this, im sorry if i raise this issue again.

honestly speaking (as i do most of the time), i miss you but i dont want to bring trouble for u.

i try to make more frens but its not the same.

even relationshipwise, i miss someone i could rely on and share my problems with. love has eluded me even though i try to get back on the horse after a really damaging fall.

i know i shudnt rush these kinda things but i juz miss plain good and comforting company.

everyone is so busy and i cant expect them to cater to my needs. that would be selfish of me.

i hope i get the peace and comfort that i am looking for.

my two most comforting cats and baby naufal is juz too far away for comfort at the moment.

late night posting (or early morn)

2008-01-29T05:51:00.000+08:00

cant sleep tonight. hav been trying to since 4++ today. got a class at 10 and im not sure if i can get up at this rate. i dont think i cant stay up for long before i get a masive headache.

had a major scare today when my baby lappy didnt want to start for me.

had to ask peng to help me out and even though he was reluctant, he did it anyay.

later found out that it was my own fault that my baby didnt want to start up.

she was confused with the extra harddisk that i had attached to it before setting up.

my bad dearie. hope u forgive me and keep on serving me well.

it was strange and a little bit awkward to be asking my ex for help. there is still a part of me that miss the times we had but i guess we werent meant to be. still glad that he kept his promise of helping me even after all we've been thru. if i was in his place, i might not have been man enuf to do what he did. he even acted like a gentlemen he was by escorting me back to the block aftwerwards.

i finally got a smile out of him in the end. it was a bitter sweet victory knowing that he is not as freely giving of his smile as he once was. but thats how its supposed to be anyway.

after that, my new roomie and i went all around the house taking pics for our door poster. then we spent the rest of the nite editing them. we juz didnt manage to print them out yet.

looks like my loyal printer is a little disgruntled at me for refilling the colour catridge.

im juz gonna giv it some time before i coax any more pretty pictures from it.

finally had some dinner at midnite. yes, it was very late for dinner. shin, me, lula and his fren stayed out until 230. i met my best fren there at selasih.

yes, i still regard him as my best fren.

he looks well. it was awkward but i managed a smile. its a start i guess.

nvr intended to wage a war with him in the first place.

upon returning back, i found that i had a dozen things to do.

after all, i did waste the nite doing repair work and consoling my baby lappy and printer.

still, i chatted with lula and chika for some time while cleaning up my room.

it feels so great to chat with lula. we have been kinda close lately. its fun to be with him.

later i laid down hoping i could get some shut eye but my mind wont rest. i keep thinking about my fyp, classes and every other thing until i finally gave up.

here i am at 615 am writing about my day.

i really shud get some rest. maybe i'll try again in a sec.

me and joe has some serious talk a few days before. i told him things that had been on my mind and he did the same. i guess we are making some slow progress. extremely slow. the status is unclear but its ok. im not gonna rush into anything.

been there, done that.

in the meantime, its not wrong for me to seek other ppls company is there??

lately, nothings been easy but still, im really glad that i have my kelisa to help me get around.

the pcs classes are all at the old blocks. walking is not an option.

career talks are happening now. something else i hav to keep an eye out on.

its beneficial for me to go. i hope i hav the energy and time.

God knows i hav the inclination.

mixed emotions

2008-01-23T10:56:00.000+08:00

todays a holiday. woke up feeling a bit disoriented. only two days have gone by since starting the semester but its been a good and bad few days depending on what going on.

classes have been ok. monday and tuesdays have been busy but the rest of the week is gonna be a breeze. labs havents started yet but my fyp has. Dr H asked me to build a model to measure various values im gonna need for my simulation. he asked me to collaborate with another one of his understudies to get the job done. its starting to feel a lot like etp. but im looking at it in a positive light. met up with my partner last night to discuss about the details of making the model. everything is looking good so far.

been thinking about the failure analysis project. got a few ideas but i'll keep them to myself in the meantime.

been thinking about touching up on my resume but i havent done anything on that yet.

this semester is the last chance i get to improve my pointer so ive gotta make it count.

ive been tired these past few days but im gonna attribute it to the fact that im shifting from my holiday mode to going back to school mode.

one the personal side of my life, things havent been looking so good.

Joe says he's busy so he cant contact me. i used to believe it but now i juz think its total BS.

he only contacts me on weekends when im guessing its becoz he has no one else to talk to.

in a way, i feel ridiculously upset since he managed to make me believe we could actually have sumthing going.

now, i think he's juz taking me for granted.

Guess he wasnt really worth my time. but its ok i guess. somehow, i kinda had the feeling that it wasnt gonna work.

my best fren ditched me for his gurlfren. i was surprised and hurt by that. it was sumthing i was worried about when he first got close to her but i trusted him to know better. my other frens say that im better off and that i have other frens but maybe they dont realize just how much i appreciate him as a fren after all that we've been thru. some frens juz cant be replaced.

as a good friend, im juz gonna wait until he wises up. maybe he will, maybe he wont.

but i dont wish him ill or anything.

i have a few things planned for today. want to go to ipoh but i havent got the time or the resources to go.

i really have to get serious now and keep my inner child locked up for the semester.

no more playing around and procrastinating. (fingers crossed)

although sometimes she does come out to play once in a while. ;P

what a slow night...

2008-01-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

i just sat thru about 8 episodes of bionic woman series.

dunno wat to write about actually...im just bored big time...

the guy in the past that i had mentioned about (lets call him Joe) previously has been acting really weird since yesterday...dunno wat to think about it...

it could be that his credit has been on the low side...we've been texting a lot..

could be hes busy...its happened b4...

maybe im just over reacting....

hope so...

it only has been a mere 2 days after all.

i guess im only thinking about him tonite more than usual coz theres nothing to distract me...

i didnt hav dinner tonite coz my friend is having dinner with another friend....true that threes a crowd but i cant help feeling uncomfortable with the situation...

she has a bf and shes going out with another guy..it doesnt feel right...

hopefully nothing is brewing between them...

i juz ate while watching the series until my eyeballs feel tired and the food turned cold...

my other frens are working tonite and i have nothing to do...

i shud be taking a look at the my timetable but i think ive done enuf for the day...

im prepped up for bed but my brain doesnt want to shut down...

i cant disturb anybody now coz my frens are either working or juz plain preoccupied...

guess i shud just go my own way...

back to school!!

2008-01-17T19:07:00.000+08:00

im back in utp!!!

i must admit that i wasnt really looking forward to going back this soon but i will put the blame on RCSU. i was worried about getting a new roomate coz the last one seriously sucked big time. i was excited that a junior that i know was glad to move in with me but RCSU managed to dampen my excitement by not approving myletter.

in the end i had to chose between going back to my old room (which was not a good idea since it contained a lot of bad memories) and moving in with someone who didnt have a roomate.

basically, it was the same thing except for the fact that i could choose which room i want to move into.

i was glad to hear that i had a chance of becoming housemates with someof my frens. that made me feel much2 better.

so picking up the keys, i made my way to the room only to find that my roomate (who had already picked up her key) had installed a big padlock on the door.

i tried to call her but to no avail.

finally i decided to bunk in with my ex ex rumate. we spent the night chatting and watching movies together so it wasnt a total bummer of a night.

the next day,i was so pissed to find that my current roomate had in fact left a key with the RCSU which they (RCSU) failed to present to me (negligence on their part which wasted a lot of my time).

nvrtheless, i juz unpacked my stuff, made a list of things i wanted to buy and had lunch at my ex ex roomate's room.

later we went to ipoh and spent the rest of the night dining, shopping and then we grabbed a movie (btw, it was Gabriel and it sucked real bad so dont watch it!!!)

i was really glad to have my own room to sleep in for the first time since coming backto utp and to top it all off, my stuff has been fully unpacked!!

so today, (yeah i arrived in utp last tuesday!!) i juz woke up with a happy feeling. i checked my results (finally!!) and it wasnt too bad seeing as my fyp 1 is an A!!!;p

went out to buy more stuff in taman maju (which didnt hav much of a choice anyway) and then went to settle my car sticker issue.

dunno when im gonna go see my sv but i guess its gonna be soon.

tomorro, im gonna go get my sticker and rearrange my timetable.

Fuh!!

Had a busy few days and its gonna get busier soon too!!

Hope i can cope without breaking apart and hope i get a really cool roomate!!! (fingers crossed!!)

today...

2008-01-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

mls nyer nk balik utp..
i was supposed to go back last saturday..tp rs cam mls coz i xde kunci blik..
kang i balik..da unpack brg..time nk register find out that blik tuh org da booking..better i x balik lg..
another thing..my parents were not at home..x best plak rsnyer kalo balik without seeing them..(maybe its juz an excuse not to go back that early)
shin da balik dat day..abot kata dier nk balik monday..so i thot maybe juz balik dgn dier..
seb bek i x balik sat..i went out with my sisters and it was so much fun...balik rumah quite late..da lama x buat camtuh..
but then at the same time...i wasnt feeling well...
start sakit tekak..must be sumthing i caught from my mum...since she was having the flu as well.
tp still i kuar...
next day...it got worst but i can still manage...
im planning on postponing my return to utp to wednesday..
hopefully i dont get that sick coz i hate getting sick in utp.
and i definitely dont want to drive in that condition.
i emailed my sv..hopefully he understands...(he expects me to return on monday)
i did my packing already but i still want to delay.
today i juz lepak at home...
bought some stuff for blacky and duchess...beli lunch and then watched a movie i downloaded with them (blacky and duchess)
they didnt really enjoy it as much as i did and fell asleep at my feet. .
then later on i went to OU..shopped a bit...and then drove my lil sis back to her uni..
sampai rumah, my parents pun sampai at the same time...
nothing eventful sgt la today but it was fun coz i havent gone out with my sisters for some time..
:)
ive been taking my medicine on time and i hope i dont get worst...
i hate getting sick!!

1st nephew

2008-01-13T22:25:00.000+08:00

Name: Naufal Aiman
Age: 5 months (currently)
POB: SJMC
DOB: 17 August 2007

im proud to say that i was the first aunty that held him.
time tuh kt SJMC..when he was a newborn...the feeling..i cant describe
he was so small..
i resent the fact that i had to go back to utp after that..
i missed out on a few months of him growing up..
when i did go back home..he didnt recognize me..
tp time cuti nih i spent most of my time with him...best giler..
lg2 dier da pandai meniarap and can recognize me...:D
he grows up so fast..(sigh~)

in this pic he was a about 3 months old...botak coz lepas akikah.
len sgt compared to the newborn pic..heh
the latest pic x download from camera lg...maybe later.

oh my duchess!!

2008-01-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

As promised, it duchess's turn...

she is a few month younger than blacky
first time jumpa dier trus minat...time tuh dier br abes operation utk neuter dier. sian...
dier cam takut and nervous tgk org yg dtg nk adopt dier...
kucen2 len dtg kt org..buat2 manje...
but dier takut tgk org..duk kat tmpt paling atas and paling jauh...
so i went to her...
u could tell that she was scared...rs cam mesti ada trauma or something sblm nih...
last2..i picked her up...and ambik dier...
time nk bawak balik pun...she was very nervous...
masuk rumah pun...she would jump at every sudden movement...
jumpe blacky pun....dier better but still nervous...
as time went by..she was more relaxed and accustomed to the house and to the family..
lama gak la br dier start manje2...i think she looked to blacky as an example sbb bile blacky start manje br dier pun start.
dulu masa br amik dier..perut dier kene shave coz dier buat operation...skrg da tumbuh balik..sgt lebat and panjang...
dulu dier kurus and x bg org angkat dier coz of the stitches...
skrg dier da ok...gemuk and happy..
how she got the name duchess??
biler dier da biasa dgn rumah kitorg..she start getting confident and then we could see perangai dier
she would look at ppl regally...gaya cam princess or sumthing...
and the white fur on her chest made her look like a mak datin or sumthing...
we tried calling her with many names tp sumer nye dier wat xtau...
bile sebut duchess br dier alert semcm..trus dpt nama tuh...
siap dier dpt collar made with real pearls..:P

Happy Thoughts-Blacky

2008-01-11T00:24:00.000+08:00

I think its high time i introduced one of the three current stars of my life (bet u somebody must have assumed someting else when they read the title..;p)
hehe.
the big black tabby cat was 9 months old when i picked him up at the local shelter.

he stole my heart the first moment he put his paws on my lap and proceeded to climb onto my shoulders then.
i like to believe that he chose me rather than the opposite.
honestly, the manja way he looked at me made me think he was a she. (Sorry blacky!!)
i wasnt able to collect him until the second visit to the shelter two weeks later. thank god he was still available for me (i couldnt book him coz someone else wanted him too..huhu)
balik rumah br tau dier nih jantan..;p (didnt really mind).kinda glad he was neutered...sorry to say..coz he would have sprayed the entire house.
he was so adorable when he was at the shelter...balik rumah..br dier tunjuk belang...walking all over the place tanpa segan silu....like he owned the house.
good thing he was naturally housetrained...dunno who taught him though.
he was small, thin and sick with a stomach infection when he arrived..but we all loved him...
i fed him, bathed him, sent him to the vet and soon, he started getting better and gaining weight.
soon he was the picture of good feline health...still is.

Gangster la skit skrg.

I Wonder...

2008-01-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

A lot of things has happened lately that has set my mind wondering along the lines of whether there is true love out there for me. i know it exists coz i can see it in the couples i know that have been together for as long as i can remember. i just dont know if its for me.
if i asked myself this question a few weeks ago i would have gotten a straight no as an answer.
then along came a guy from my past that certainly made me rethink my decision.
my frens would most likely say 'oh no..here we go again' if they found out who he was.
but my true real frens would also be supportive towards me even as they disapprove or approve of my new way of thinking.
i must admit, i made mistakes in the past. major and minor miscalculations alike. done things that i am not proud of that would of course end with me having a broken heart. and most of the time, i would juz get back up and try again only to be repeatedly hurt time and time again. its as if i nvr learnt my lesson the first time round.
i ran out of steam in the last relationship.
after declaring to my best fren that this is the end of the line for me...im starting to wonder if this declaration was given too early..(im feeling a tad hypocritical..hey..pls dont judge!!)
i am sorely tired of being dissapointed over and over again. i am truly regrettable that i let somebody that was standing right in front of me go. i am sick of ppl who use and take advantage of me and treat me like dirt.
even through all these dark thoughts, i finally see some hope..
or is it just false hope...sumthing i want desperately to believe is true??
he hurt me then. left me to wonder what was my mistake..
he vanished from the radar since...
then he resurfaced..after nearly 2 years i think...
somehow i could tell he had changed..although he contacted me thru ym...he sounded (or at least wrote) sincerely...
or is it me again...thinking..wishing he wrote sincerely??
i thot maybe it could be he contacted me juz bcoz he was or bored or something...and that he wouldnt contact me after that anymore..
but i was surprised to hear from him again...the day after...
yeah..i can here my frens saying that its too soon for me to get excited..
honestly, i must admit i am flattered..but excited??..im still not sure about that..
it is too soon...
but there was something about the way we chatted that night that made me think he was sincere...
or is that only my imagination running wild again???
im confused...
he says he wants to get back together..that he is truly sorry for what he did to me and the hurt he's caused...
should i really believe him??
shud i give him a second chance??
frankly, he hasnt done anything deserving of my suspicion...
but i guess it doesnt hurt to be cautious..
i think that only time will tell...
i know that frens of mine will certainly tell me the same thing....
I wonder....
Please God...protect my heart from any more pain and give it peace and happiness.

lelaki zaman skrg!@#$%^&

2008-01-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

pg td..i dgr nana bercerita di radio erra..dier suh org menceritakan pengalaman pertama atau pengalaman org ramai yg xleh dilupakan...

i thot mebe it was worthwhile to listen to a few laa...

the first one, was a girl..dier kata dier kenal one guy thru chatting...then dier pakat jumpe..kire date la..

he was ok..cute and nice la..tetibe sampai time dier ajak mkn..guess wat...that guy suh dier byr for both of them...adeyh...da la dier ajk and then leh plak suh the gurl yg pay...

ok..so i diam..simpati gak la to that gurl on the radio...sampai destinasi..(fyi, i was in the car)..i forgot about it...

time nk balik...bukak radio balik...nana was still asking ppl to share their unforgettable moments...

one other gurl...lebeyh kurang gak la...jumpe thru tenet..nk g lunchdate...then the guy suh dier order for him and also pay...wth??

my frens pun penah face this kind of situation...

and each relationship ended with them getting hurt badly...

it juz got me thinking...

LELAKI ZAMAN SKRG MCM NIH KE?? DO THEY HAVE ANY PRIDE IN THEMSELVES???

to all the male gendered peeps reading this...i hope ur not offended k...this is juz my observation and also my oppinion based on my own personal experience (I think the ppl around me last sem would understand wat i mean).

x slh kalo the gurl wants to help the guy out but really, how far would he go juz to get a free meal or anything else for free for that matter??

i guess mmg ada moments where the gurl must/can pay for him tp to force the gurl to do something like that??

dr ikhlas da jd x ikhlas...dr syg..jd x syg...

u want to impress a gurl...have the decency to be financially prepared for a dinner or lunch once in a while.

lg2 on a first date...wat happened to chivalry??

a gurl has feelings to....

im not saying that a gurl shud be a golddigger or anything...its juz that, a gurl would very much like to be able to rely on a man for once. she most definitely would like to see how responsible and courteous u guys are!!

ni x..lg nk take advantage of her..mentally and emotionally..not to mention financially.

sah2 la the gurl cabut after the first date if he was the kind to use a gurl that way...

if u want to get to know a gurl, u have to:

1-treat a gurl rite

2-be respectful

3-listen to her (when she talks..)

4-be considerate

5-be responsible

6-etc (honestly, u dont expect me to tell u all this do u?)

for all the girls out there, when u find yourself in this kind of situation, get out ASAP.

there are some guys i know who are all the listed things and much more...(1 to 6)

tp syg la...all the decents guys out there are all taken...

or maybe i juz cant find them...

Router fixed at last

2008-01-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

lega rasanye..after a few weeks of real bad connection and low performance...i finally got my router fixed..or u can say replaced. the service technician was real quick to gimme a new router tp bile try pasang balik kt rumah..the wireless part was not functioning.

pelik plak coz thething was brand new. my siblings pun pening xtau nk buat ape...

since skrg musim cuti so the office pun tutup and xleh nk lodge a complaint.

last2 i called in and talk to the technician..(another one)..terpaksa la dtg balik kt service centre tuh..da la susah nk parking...huhu

last2...the guy test router yg br tuh and dier ckp rosak.high percentage of defects ke brg nih?

seb bek router tuh still dlm warranty. i suh dier setup for me the whole thing and all i needed to do was to plug and play (as it shud be)

so here i am with full capacity internet connection...:)

feels good..u nvr really appreciate sumthing...until it goes away (applicable in all aspects..;p).

Skrg nih ngah geram sbb scholar x masuk lg..grrr...arituh g withdraw tgk still the same numbers since the past weeks. seb bek ada $$ for my haircut...

ooo..lupa plak..i got my haircut!!;p

treatment skali..had a totally relaxing time at the salun and also caught up with the latest gosip there..it was soo fun...

since there was a minor shortage in the financial department, i put off going to digimall to get some toys for baby...she doesnt seem to mind too much..

blacky dgn duchess still majuk wit me coz dorg kene mandi..(fyi, they hate water)..even though the bath was last week...guess cats dont forgive and forget that easily..(sama la cam tuan dier..;p)..tp senang nk pujuk..bg dier duk dlm rumah for a couple of hours and they will be back to normal..da lama da diorg xleh nk duk dlm rumah lama2 sbb ada naufal dlm rumah...

Naufal started teething...the slobbering has increased. Hes getting heavier and heavier..rs cam men angkat berat je bile kene angkat dier...it wont be long before i wont be able to pick him up anymore...sian parents dier..hehe

nt i upload gambar for ya'll to see..

My New Years Resolution

2008-01-01T21:14:00.001+08:00

First day of the new year must come with a resolution. Hopefully i can achieve it..Insya Allah...
Rasanya this year i want to be more focussed on the more important things in life...my studies, my family and my career.
I have my FYP 2 coming up and i hope i wont let me or my SV down coz he done a lot for me...
Fyi, my SV ROCKS!!
the other subjects, of course are not to be forgotten. kalau boleh i want to improve my pointer or at least maintain it. Boleh la grad dgn pointer best2 skit.
selain itu, my greatest wish is to spend more time with my fam. mum, dad, siblings, naufal (most adorable nephew yet), blacky and duchess (my two notorious (not to mention fat) cats) which are also part of the family.
theres also my career to think about...final sem da nih so i have to start looking out for job opportunities..
im also planning on a business venture..agricultural or aquacultural maybe...dunno yet coz im waiting to finish my studies before i get into that...:P
guess those are my priorities so far...lets see how it goes. this sem kene rajin2 skit la blaja software stuff for fyp2..huhuhu
romance is still not the plans for this year...if it comes, well...we'll see then wont we??..:D
if not then no biggie.
today mmg best sgt, went out with mum and dad...juz me and them..(mummy and daddy's girl..heh) and we went shopping like there was no tomorrow...bnyk giler benda on sale...:P
i got a new pair of jeans...dad bought some clothes..mum a brooch set...something for somebody...heee...lama da x buat camtuh...
tomorrow rs cam nk get a new haircut, have a facial and get some IT gadgets for Baby
(my darling lappy in case anyone's forgotten..:P)
what can i say, im a shopping freak!!!
this is it so far...(gee...im starting to get the hang of blogging..;))

wina my dear...

2008-01-01T02:17:00.001+08:00

Testing..testing..
This is specially for my friend, wina. The main reason im here writing in my brand new blog. Sorry to say, i wasnt a great believer in blogs at the beginning. But seeing as shes no longer in UTP and that she and i both would be really bz, i would really like to still remain in contact with her and this is the easiest way how.

shes been forever asking me to check out her blog for the past semester. but being lazy ol me, i would only take a glance at the current blog and then go on to other things in my life. only now do i realise juz how many ppl i know actually write blogs. ignorant little me. forgive me fellow bloggers for i am ignorant of ur ways. :P

Also, the timing was perfect. ITS THE NEW YEAR!! i hope this year would be a trillion times as fun as the last one and a whole lot less heartbreak and stress. to kick start the year, i bought myself a darling little laptop that i call Baby. we will definitely be working closely together in the immediate future.

suddenly i feel like theres so much to tell and so little time to do so... but i guess im gonna hav to take it slow and easy.

Until next time...

p/s: to all the other fellow bloggers...Sila beri tunjuk ajar ye~. :)